AlpineAire Foods Freeze Dried Food Pouches – Food Review

After our hike in to camp, we set up our tents as far as we possibly could from the hordes of school children on a ‘Spring Break Adventure Camping Trip.’ We hunkered down and I quickly boiled water with my MSR Reactor Stove System. After removing the small white colored oxygen absorber packet inside the pouch, I poured the required 2 cups into the Black Bar Chili with Beans & Beef pouch. I gave it a careful but thorough stir, and sealed it back up so that it could cook for the next 10-12 minutes. I can’t really remember what I did in those 10-12 minutes. I probably threw rocks at stuff, stoked the fire, or made fun of my brother in law. It was probably all of the above. I always like to wait the full extent of the time, as there are few things as disappointing as biting into incompletely cooked freeze dried food. OK, there are actually a lot of things more disappointing but that’s beside the point. Just don’t shortchange yourself from the full extent of flavor goodness by being too hasty.

As a Texan boy I know a thing or two about chili, so my standards are fairly high when it comes to traditional southern food. Now that my review has hopefully gained credibility in your eyes I will continue. With spoon in hand I proceeded to devour the Gluten Free Black Bart Chili with Beans & Beef. I was pleased with the consistency, as it has the texture of chili one would make at home – complete with beefy chunks and plenty of spicy beans. At first I worried about upsetting my stomach, as usually spicy food can make for an unpleasant atmosphere for my fellow tent mate and anyone who dares to hike downwind. But, much to the joy of all those around, the only waft in the breeze was of the cool salty air billowing in from the ocean that night. Overall, I felt satisfied with the allotted portion and comforted on a cold night with my belly full of delicious Gluten Free Black Bart Chili with Beans & Beef.

Let’s fast forward through the night to breakfast time the next morning. I could slow this down and tell you about how well I slept in the Adventure Medical Kits Escape Bivy that night, but you can just read all about it here. So, there I sat on the log eating Blueberry Honey Granola with Milk. Now most would just add the required ¾ cup cold water and call it granola, but I like to add ¾ cup hot water and call it porridge. Somehow, I just feel like it sticks to my ribs better that way. Knowing I have a warm breakfast helps me get out of the tent on the cold mornings too. Now, because this is a review I get to say whatever I want. So here’s my whatever: it’s bland. While I felt full and ready to tackle the trail, I also felt like I should have packed some brown sugar to sprinkle on top. I felt it just needed a little something extra.

On the menu for lunch is Gluten Free Texas BBQ Chicken with Beans.  As with most pouch foods, I removed the oxygen absorber packet, added 2 cups boiled water, and waited 12 minutes. To be honest, I kind of eyeballed the water pouring it in this time, and think I might have added too much. The consistency was rather soupy, but again, that might have been my fault. I did enjoy scooping out the chunks of chicken and found them to be enjoyable, but was decidedly disappointed by the overall flavor of the meal. Like the granola, it just needed a little something extra, but this time a little brown sugar wouldn’t have sufficed. In the end I just felt obligated to finish the meal, and let’s just say I added a little something extra to the wafts in the breeze this time around.

Now before you think I’m a Negative Nancy, pause and consider my review of the Gluten Free Bananas Foster Dessert Meal. This meal only required ¾ cup of boiling water, but still required the full 12 minutes to cook in the pouch. AlpineAire describes this dessert as sliced bananas, cinnamon, and brown sugar that swim in a delicate vanilla sauce. Having never had Bananas Foster before, all I could do was glance down at the brown mush and then shrug my shoulders and dig in. The taste was a fairly sweet, banana-y flavor and the texture was chunky and chewy. As I continued to eat I realized that I had not mixed it as well as needed, and had to remind myself to pay more attention to getting deep down into the corners next time. Having the correct utensil can make all the difference. My short little spork can be such a nuisance for mixing freeze dried meals, leaving me licking sauce off my hand and yet evidently clumps of powder still evade me. We ate this as a group snack, but it ended up being more of a spork feeding frenzy. The only complaint was that some weren’t waiting their turn in the spork line-up. It almost got crazy.